So, Your 30s Aren’t What You Expected? Let’s Talk About It
Photo credit: 13 going on 30 GIF (giphy.com)
Dear Brewtiful Advice,
I’m 35, nearly 36, living alone with my cats, and working a demanding marketing job. I’ve always valued my independence, but lately, I feel like I'm stuck in a loop of work, home, sleep, repeat. My social circle has dwindled to almost nothing, and while I enjoy my own company, the loneliness is starting to weigh heavily on me. I see friends getting married, having kids, or moving up in their careers, and I can't help but feel like I’m falling behind or missing out on something.
How do I navigate this sense of stagnation and find fulfillment in my current situation? How do I make peace with the choices I've made and embrace my life as it is, rather than constantly comparing it to others?
— Feeling Stuck
Dear Feeling Stuck,
First off, I want you to know that what you're feeling is valid. Many people in their mid-30s grapple with similar emotions, especially when their lives don't mirror the conventional milestones society often celebrates. It's okay to feel a mix of contentment and restlessness—these feelings can coexist and even propel you towards meaningful change.
Here's how you can start navigating this phase:
Acknowledge Your Feelings: Accept that it’s okay to feel lonely or left behind sometimes. These emotions don’t define your worth or your journey. They're signals that something in your life might need attention or change.
Reevaluate Your Priorities: Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you. Is it career growth, deeper connections, personal hobbies, or something else? Write down your thoughts. This can help you clarify your goals and identify areas that need more focus.
Build New Connections: It might feel daunting, but expanding your social circle can bring new energy into your life. Join clubs, attend local events, or even explore online communities centered around your interests. Finding people who share your passions can lead to meaningful friendships.
Invest in Yourself: Use this time to nurture your interests and hobbies. Whether it's picking up a new skill, diving into a passion project, or simply indulging in self-care, investing in yourself can be incredibly fulfilling and boost your sense of purpose.
Limit Comparisons: It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to others, especially with the curated lives we see on social media. Remember, everyone’s path is unique. Celebrate your own milestones and achievements, no matter how small they might seem.
Seek Professional Help if Needed: If feelings of loneliness and stagnation become overwhelming, consider speaking to a therapist. They can provide strategies to cope with these emotions and help you navigate this period with more clarity and resilience.
Life isn’t always about hitting certain milestones; it’s about the journey and how you choose to live it. Embrace your path, with all its ups and downs, and find fulfillment in the everyday moments. Your life is yours to shape, and there's no right or wrong way to do it.
Warm regards,
Brewtiful Advice
