Coping with a Sinister Past and Person
Dear Brewtiful,
A few months ago, I had a really negative experience with someone I considered an acquaintance, maybe even a friend. Unfortunately, they turned out to be quite sinister. Since then, I've made significant strides in my personal life—I've moved on, even turned my life around in many ways. However, I still get hit with waves of PTSD whenever I have to deal with this person at work or when certain memories resurface. Part of this stems from my OCD, ego, and a deep-seated desire for justice. How can I cope with these feelings and continue moving forward?
Sincerely,
Triggered and Seeking Peace
Dear Triggered and Seeking Peace,
Firstly, kudos to you for recognizing your progress and the strides you’ve made. It's no small feat to turn your life around after such an experience. It's also completely normal to have lingering feelings, especially when the person is still part of your environment. Here are some practical tips to help you manage these feelings and continue your journey forward:
Acknowledge and Understand Your Feelings
Acknowledge Your Feelings: Understand that your PTSD, OCD, and feelings of injustice are valid. They are your mind's way of processing a traumatic experience. Acknowledging them without judgment is the first step toward healing.
Rewrite Your Story: Flip the script on your past. See it as a lesson in resilience and strength rather than just a negative experience. This shift can lighten the emotional load.
Channel Your Desire for Justice: It's natural to want justice when you've been wronged. However, focusing too much on this can hinder your healing. Instead, channel that energy into something positive—perhaps advocacy, creative projects, or personal growth.
Set Boundaries and Seek Support
Set Boundaries: If you haven't already, establish clear boundaries with this person at work. Keep interactions strictly professional and limit them as much as possible. This can help reduce triggers and give you a sense of control.
Keep a "Sinister Encounters" Log: Document any interactions with this person. It’s not just a release but also a factual record if you ever need to take it up with HR.
Seek Professional Guidance: Consider talking to a therapist who specializes in PTSD and OCD. They can provide tailored strategies to help you manage your symptoms effectively.
Join the Support Squad: Find online forums or support groups where you can share your experiences and coping strategies. Knowing you’re not alone can be incredibly comforting.
Embrace Self-Care and Mindfulness
Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's a hobby, exercise, or meditation, self-care can help alleviate stress and improve your overall well-being.
Practice Grounding Techniques: When you feel overwhelmed, use grounding techniques like focusing on your breath, counting objects around you, or feeling the texture of something near you to bring yourself back to the present.
Create a Personal Mantra: Develop a personal mantra or affirmation that you can repeat to yourself during stressful moments. It can be something simple like, "I am in control," or "I am safe now."
Find Your Zen Zone: Identify a quiet spot at work for a quick escape when you need a breather. Sometimes, a few minutes of fresh air can do wonders.
Practice Mindfulness Meditation: Mindfulness meditation can help you stay present and reduce anxiety. There are many guided meditations available online to help you get started.
Focus on Growth and Positivity
Redefine Your Wins: Success isn’t just about moving on—it's about reclaiming your peace. Set small, manageable goals that boost your sense of control and pride.
Celebrate Small Wins: Don’t forget to acknowledge and celebrate the small victories along the way. Each step forward is a testament to your strength and resilience.
Level Up Your Skills: Take a course or certification that not only advances your career but also keeps your mind engaged and forward-focused. Channel that energy into growth!
Engage in Creative Outlets: Expressing yourself through creative outlets like painting, writing, or music can be therapeutic and a great way to process emotions.
Healthy Lifestyle Choices
Exercise Regularly: Physical activity can significantly reduce stress and anxiety. Find an exercise routine that you enjoy and stick to it.
Limit Caffeine and Sugar: Reducing your intake of caffeine and sugar can help manage anxiety levels and improve your overall mood.
Maintain a Routine: Having a consistent daily routine can provide a sense of normalcy and stability, which can be very comforting during times of stress.
Develop a Sleep Routine: Quality sleep is crucial for mental health. Develop a bedtime routine that helps you relax and ensures you get a good night's sleep.
Connect with Nature: Spending time outdoors in nature can be incredibly grounding and rejuvenating. Take a walk in the park, hike a trail, or simply sit outside and enjoy the fresh air.
Additional Strategies
Mindful Distraction: Immerse yourself in activities that require full focus—be it a puzzle, a gripping book, or a challenging workout. These distractions can interrupt negative thought loops.
Embrace App Therapy: Download apps like PTSD Coach and nOCD for on-the-go strategies and exercises. Perfect for those unexpected triggers at work.
Volunteer Your Time: Helping others can provide a sense of purpose and distract you from your own worries. Find a cause you're passionate about and volunteer your time.
Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. Allow yourself the grace to continue growing and moving forward, even if it means taking small steps each day.
Stay strong and keep striving for peace.
Warmly,
Brewtiful
