He's Coming on Too Strong—What Should I Do?
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Dear Brewtiful,
I met a guy on a Sunday, and things seemed promising at first. But since then, he's been coming on way too strong. He wanted to see me every single day of the week—Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and he even wanted to see me again on Saturday and Sunday! It's becoming overwhelming, and I'm starting to feel like he's desperate. How should I handle this situation?
— Overwhelmed
Dear Overwhelmed,
It's always exciting to meet someone new, but when the pace of a budding relationship feels more like a sprint than a leisurely walk, it's easy to become overwhelmed. It sounds like this guy's enthusiasm is turning into intensity, and it's important to address it before it escalates further.
1. Set Boundaries Early On
The first step is to set clear and firm boundaries. Let him know that while you appreciate his interest, you need time to yourself and space to breathe. Explain that seeing each other every day is too much for you and that you prefer a more balanced approach.
2. Communicate Your Feelings
Have an honest conversation about how his behavior is making you feel. Use "I" statements to express your concerns without sounding accusatory. For example, "I feel overwhelmed when we see each other every day and need some time for myself."
3. Gauge His Reaction
Pay attention to how he reacts to your boundaries and communication. If he respects your wishes and adjusts his behavior, that's a positive sign. However, if he continues to push for constant contact, it might be a red flag that he's not respecting your needs.
4. Take It Slow
Relationships should develop at a pace that feels comfortable for both parties. If he's genuinely interested in building a meaningful connection, he will understand and respect your need to take things slow. Suggest seeing each other a couple of times a week and see how things progress from there.
5. Trust Your Gut
If you continue to feel uneasy despite setting boundaries and communicating your needs, trust your instincts. It's crucial to feel comfortable and safe in any relationship. If his behavior doesn't change, it might be best to reconsider whether this relationship is right for you.
Remember, you deserve to feel respected and valued in any relationship. Taking control of the pace and ensuring your comfort is key to building a healthy and lasting connection.
Best of luck!
— Brewtiful
