Why Do I Revert Back to a Teenager Around People I Like?
Photo credit: https://giphy.com/gifs/awkward-wmAewUHADw1Co
Dear Brewtiful,
I'm in my 30s, but whenever I'm around someone I like, I revert back to a shy, awkward teenage girl. It's so frustrating! Why can't I just be confident and relaxed like I am with everyone else? What can I do to stop this?
Sincerely,
Stuck in My Teens
Dear Stuck in My Teens,
Oh, the joys of being a walking paradox, right? You’re not alone in this—many of us, no matter how wise and seasoned we get, still have that inner teenager who sneaks out at the most inconvenient times.
First, let’s normalize what you’re feeling. The people who matter most to us have this incredible power to turn our brains into mush, and our carefully crafted adult persona can crumble in seconds. Why? Because when it comes to emotions, our brains are wired to fall back on old habits and patterns. The thrill of a crush or the excitement of someone we admire often pulls us back to those awkward, uncertain teenage years.
Now, how do you break the cycle? Let’s dive into some strategies that might help you stay cool, calm, and collected—no matter how fluttery your heart feels.
Acknowledge Your Feelings—Then Let Them Go
Instead of fighting the butterflies or trying to squash the awkwardness, acknowledge it. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way. By giving your feelings a little space, you take away some of their power. They’re just emotions, not the entire truth of who you are.
Practice Makes Comfortable
Like anything else, confidence in social situations comes with practice. Start small. Engage in casual conversations with people you’re less emotionally invested in. Slowly, you’ll start to build up your confidence, and that ease will start spilling over into more high-stakes interactions.
Shift Your Focus
When you’re around someone you like, your focus is often inward—how am I coming across? Do they like me? Am I saying the right things? Try flipping the script. Focus on them instead. What’s interesting about what they’re saying? What can you learn from them? This shift can help reduce some of that self-consciousness.
Embrace Your Inner Teenager
Sometimes, the best way to deal with your inner awkward teenager is to embrace her. Instead of trying to push her away, let her have her moment. After all, she’s a part of you—quirks and all. Who knows? That vulnerability might be what others find most endearing about you.
Reframe Your Narrative
Instead of seeing yourself as shy and awkward, try to reframe your narrative. You’re thoughtful, you care deeply about making a good impression, and you’re sensitive to the energy in the room. Those are strengths! By changing how you see yourself, you might just change how you come across to others.
Give Yourself Grace
Lastly, be kind to yourself. Everyone has moments of insecurity, no matter how put-together they seem. The fact that you care enough to want to change is a huge step in the right direction. So, cut yourself some slack, and remember—you’re not as awkward as you think you are.
Here’s to embracing your inner teen with a bit of grown-up grace!
With love,
Brewtiful
