Why Do I Revert Back to a Teenager Around People I Like?

Dear Brewtiful,

I'm in my 30s, but whenever I'm around someone I like, I revert back to a shy, awkward teenage girl. It's so frustrating! Why can't I just be confident and relaxed like I am with everyone else? What can I do to stop this?

Sincerely,
Stuck in My Teens

Dear Stuck in My Teens,

Oh, love—you’re not stuck. You’re just haunted.

By your 15-year-old self.
By every hallway crush, every overanalyzed text, every memory of holding your breath while someone didn’t notice how much you were hoping they would.

That teenage version of you? She never left. She just started wearing better jeans and learned how to parallel park. But when someone cute walks in? She shows up in full force—uncertain, flustered, desperate to be liked. And honestly? That makes sense.

Because when you like someone, your body doesn’t respond with logic—it responds with memory. And your nervous system doesn’t care how many therapy sessions you’ve had or how many promotions you’ve landed. It just knows what liking someone used to feel like: terrifying.

Let’s work through it. Not to silence that inner teenager—but to hold her hand and remind her you’ve got this now.

1. It’s Not a Confidence Issue—It’s a Time Warp

You’re not awkward because you’re weak. You’re awkward because attraction is vulnerable, and vulnerability echoes. When you feel yourself shrinking around someone you like, remind yourself: this isn’t regression—it’s muscle memory. And you’re allowed to rewire it.

2. Shift the Spotlight

When we like someone, we start self-monitoring. Do they like me? Am I coming off too much? Should I smile more? That’s emotional stage fright.
Flip it. Get curious about them. Ask a weird question. Notice something specific. When your attention goes outward, your anxiety loses its grip.

3. Let the Butterflies Land. Then Let Them Go.

Stop fighting the awkward. Name it. Laugh at it. Text your best friend after and say, “I made eye contact for too long and then forgot how to speak—iconic.”
You don’t need to kill the butterflies. You just need to stop giving them the keys.

4. Script a Reframe

Don’t call yourself shy or awkward. Try this:
“I get a little flustered when I care.”
“I’m thoughtful and emotionally present.”
“I don’t hide when I’m nervous—that’s rare.”
Because honestly? That kind of authenticity is hot. No notes.

5. Show Her Grace (The Teenage You, I Mean)

She’s not trying to ruin your vibe. She’s trying to protect you. And maybe, all she really needs is for you to say: I see you. I’ve grown. We’re okay now.
Let her stumble. Then let your adult self step in and carry the conversation. You’re on the same team.

Final Thought?

You're not behind. You're not broken. You're just feeling something real—and trying to hold it without crumbling. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you alive.
So when you find yourself awkward and flushed in front of someone you like, don’t apologize.
Smile. Take a breath. And remember:

They’re probably just as nervous as you. They’re just hiding it behind better posture.

With love, awkward grace, and a killer playlist,
Brewtiful